Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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