What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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womans rights...

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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