What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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