If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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