How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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