A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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this website even though its hilarious.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops