Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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69

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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