An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

Hey, come here often? No.

Five guys one rape.

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

Anti jokes are funny

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

What's red and silly? A blood clot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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