I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

cc

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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