what rhymes with sloth? rape

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Winking at old people

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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