Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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