How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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that wall over there ->

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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