Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops