Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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