Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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