Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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