Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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the sky is green no it is not

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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