To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

What does the average fishermen catch Fish

"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

38 studio's new game... Finance City

How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

How many light bulbs? 1

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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