What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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The Qur'an

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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