How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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