Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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DEATH.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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guess what>? your mum lol

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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brock has small hands for a small job

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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