To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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