What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops