How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

thumb_up thumb_down -106

1+1= 69

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Chocolate tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops