How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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