roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops