Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Sir, your wife is dead

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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