Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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