Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops