why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Andoni was here

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops