What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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The Morman Religion.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops