- Anti Joke

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

what is red white and blue? the french flag

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus