whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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guess what? bannanas

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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