Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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21

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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8=>

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Potato salad

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops