Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock Knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's 9 +10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +23

9/11 isn't funny. 19 Muslims died that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's big? Jupiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A fish walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

No joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Well, this is fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops