A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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What's 9+10? 19.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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TRENT EGENLAUF IS a LITTLE BOY

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops