Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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A gay man watches football.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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