Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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you see theres this guy.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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poopy is poopy

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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