I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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UN

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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rarw

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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No antijoke here.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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