wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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i dont fisish anythi

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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