Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Hail Hitler

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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