Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

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What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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