What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

Knock knock Fuck off!

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

So a man walks into a bar, right?

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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