On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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