A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops