How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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3 blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The 1 blonde says they're deer tracks. The 2 blonde says they're elk tracks. The 3 blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Donald Trump

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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What is life? Paul.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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