Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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