Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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