Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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