What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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deez nuts

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Yeah I am sure nobody understood that one... Just be careful in the future. Besides you are supposed to link your "Moral" to the Solvemedia, I suggest you do not post, until you understand things further, I only suggest, but you know that if you become exposed or a threat towards outstanding forces, you become a threat to us all, to our and your fundation, this will not be tolerated unless your desire is to destroy your on fundation, if so, you risk that the desire of the entire fundation, is to destroy you, something which I of course will allow, as I am the leader, not the boss, I do not create nor enforce rules, only guidelines. Moral the friendly neighborhood R*pist: "being new, is no excuse to risk exposing shadows to the light"

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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