Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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