A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Shit.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Nickelback

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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No joke.

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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Dana Cohen not having herpes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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