How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Jess Burns

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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cc

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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