Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jews who wear penny loafers...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +18

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your fat

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

thumb_up thumb_down

What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

thumb_up thumb_down

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops