What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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