What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Jess Burns

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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