three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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